Sunday, September 3, 2017

Nothing has changed in my own life.  I believe I failed myself, AGAIN.
I expected more of myself, but I really don't feel like the same person.
I haven't been interested in anything, and questioning if it's worth doing every task presented to me.
I feel like I'm on Auto-pilot.

Anyway, it's been strange thing that marriage/engagement events have been happening so close together lately, out of the blue.

A close friend from high school, got engaged and quickly married at Dragoncon.
It happened so quick, so not sure if legit.  All of this was documented via Facebook.

All the while, my younger cousin proposed to his girlfriend at a family cookout.

As a gamer-minded person, I feel like I lost 2 people to life, again.

Sunday, June 18, 2017


Still stuffed from the food at the cookout mentioned in the last post.  
It was great seeing my IRL friends, it brought back a lot of nostalgia.
We joked a bit about our minor signs of aging.  I felt a small pinch of sadness, when overthinking it.
I only have a couple of stray gray head hairs, nothing else!  

Left around 8:40PM-ish, because it started to rain.

After returning home, I've been in high spirits.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Still flowing

I'm still going with the flow, nothing significant has happened in my life since my last post.
This post is to show that I'm lurking about.

About 10 days ago, marked 10 years since that special someone walked into my life.
Currently, they're rarely in it.  I'm the type of person that remembers meaningful dates in my life.
I felt like putting that out there, as a sign that I didn't forget.

Tomorrow, I'm attending a small cookout for 2 of my friends who decided to celebrate their birthdays on that day.
It'll be good to see them, it's been a year and a couple of months since I last saw them in person.


Friday, April 14, 2017

Yet another birthday rolls around

I'm at the point in my life, where I don't really desire much.

The best gift for me by far would be getting a few words sent my way by a certain someone.
It doesn't matter what they say.
Like they can send something random like "Fish chips."
I'm satisfied by just the simple exchange alone.

That's all I have to look forward to every year.
There's times it doesn't come. It's fine.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

"Follow your dream."

I had a strange dream today.

I was grocery shopping with my parents, in what seemed to be a mish-mash of Aldi, Walmart, Costco, and Sam's Club, because dream logic.

As we're walking through this store picking up what's needed.... this female employee approaches and stops me.

In my mind I'm assuming I did something wrong, she then says to me, "Follow your dream."
I reply, "What?", then one of my aunts approaches and says the same thing in Spanish.

I turn to the employee and tell her, "She just told me the same thing you did, but in Spanish. I'm confused, why? I don't get it." She just smiled and I woke up.

Then comes the question, what IS my dream to follow?

At this point of my life I'm unclear of what it is, I wanted to do many things.
Not sure if they qualify for "dream" status.

Friday, March 10, 2017

I've been sick for the past week, I feel like I had a bad case of indigestion or I probably have an ulcer building.

Scary thoughts.

Haven't done much, just playing the spectator role in every aspect of what interests me. :(

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I closed myself in my room and forced myself to sleep for hours until that day passed.
The meaning of that holiday and what it symbolizes, gnaws at my spirit.

Happy Valentine's Day, indeed.

Friday, January 20, 2017

2017 - I want a reboot

The month is almost over in a week or so, I feel myself slowly coming back to my procrastination tendencies.

While listening to music on Spotify, a song in Spanish came on.
It rekindled a bit of my overall motivation I had for the new year.
The chorus comes to mind for a lot of things.

Here are the lyrics that I translated to the best of my ability to keep its intended meaning intact.
The song is called "Quiero volver a empezar" by Yuri ,
which translates to "I want to start over." or "I  want a restart."

Open a path... that at full force… I am coming.
Look at me.. I was not conquered by the suffering.

I come willing to fight…
Nothing can stop me… No!

I want to start over,
Free of all reminders
I want to start over
Waking anew

Starting over…

I’ll shine like a star in the sky.
I’ll erase the past entirely and the fear

I come willing to fight
Nothing can stop me… No!

I want to start over,
Free of all reminders
I want to start over
Waking anew

Recommence like a new day,
An awakening without crying and without fear.

I want to start over
Free of all reminders
I want to start over
Waking anew

I want to start over
(Chorus repeats until fade out)

I have obstacles to overcome to get to where I want to be, I don't want to dwell on the past so much.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Happy New Year 2017!

Happy New Year!
This year went fast.

I hope 2017 is my year.

All of 2016 felt like a hiatus from life, seriously.

I didn't partake in many gatherings, only the major ones. (Thanksgiving, X-mas, NYE and today)
Internally, I felt like there was no reason to.

I wish I could CTRL+ALT+DEL my life, I would've done so many things differently.

My New Year's resolution for 2017.... Be better than I was in 2016 and years past.